September 2008 -
"I don't want to hear it! How can you do this to me? I fucking LOVE you!"
"I love you too. But we are going to different schools, in different states. You didn't expect this to last, did you?"
"You have NO faith in me and you never have!"
"I do, I do. I just don't think long distance works."
"How do you know? You've never tried."
"It never works for anybody. You know that."
"Life isn't some fairytale where everything magically happens. You have to work at relationships. Calling it quits without even trying is a dick move."
"Don't be like this, babe. We still have time. We leave in two weeks. Let's make the most of it."
"No... If you are going to end it, you end it now. Not in two weeks, or two days, or two hours... Now."
"... Ok... Now..."
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"Would you like to come in?" Sarah asked.
"Uhhh. Ummm, I don't think so. It's kinda late."
"Oh, come on. It's 12:30."
"I have an early day tomorrow."
Sarah began laughing. "You NEVER wake up before 10, especially on the weekend! Don't pull that bullshit with me! I know you too well!"
I was caught and started to laugh.
"Come on. My parents would love to see you."
Sarah looked at me and smiled. I couldn't resist that smile.
"Alright."
I turned the car off and took my seatbelt off. As I reached for the door handle I hesitated. I hadn't been inside Sarah's house sine we broke up. And I hadn't see her parents since then, either. I took a deep breath and got out of the car.
I followed Sarah up the pathway to the front door. When we reached it, Sarah glanced at me.
"Are you nervous?" she asked, chuckling.
"Uhhh, kinda! I haven't seen your parents in forever!"
"Stop worrying! You know they love you!"
"I know but it's still weird."
"Only if you make it weird!" Sarah said as she opened the door.
My heart began to race as soon as the door opened. Sarah led the way as we walked down the entry into the living room. We heard noise from the family room.
"Mom!" Sarah called out.
"In here." The voice came from the family room.
We made our way down a short hall to the family room entrance. Before getting there, Sarah stopped and whispered in my ear.
"Wait here. I want to surprise them."
"Really?!" I whispered back.
"Just do it!" she replied, shooting me daggers. If I learned ONE thing while dating Sarah, it was not to mess with her when she gave that look! I waited just outside the family room as Sarah entered.
"How was the party?" Sarah's mom asked.
"Great. It was nice seeing everyone again. Where's dad?"
"In bed. Who all was there?"
"The usuals plus about 30 people. I brought you a present."
"Oh?"
"Yup. C.C., come here."
I turned the corner, as ordered. The look on Sarah's mom's face was priceless!
"Oh my God! C.C.! How are you?" she said, as she jumped up and went in for a hug.
"I'm great! It's nice to see you, Mrs. James," I said as we hugged.
"Knock that Mrs. James crap off, you know to call me Laurie!"
Our hug ended and we found our seats. Laurie had a huge smile on her face. I sat next to Sarah on the couch, her mother was in a recliner a few feet away.
"It is so nice to see you! We've missed you around here," Laurie said.
"Yeah, I've missed you guys as well."
"So, I take it you met up with Sarah at the party?"
"Yeah," Sarah jumped in, "he volunteered to give me a ride home after Chelsea bailed."
"Of course he did. He was always a gentlemen," Laurie said to Sarah.
"Oh God, here we go," Sarah said, falling back into the couch. "I don't know why you were nervous. She likes you more than she likes me!"
"You can't really blame her, can you?!?" I said smiling. Laurie burst into laughter as Sarah punched me in the arm.
We continued talking with Laurie for about 30 minutes. She interrogated me like mothers do. I filled her in on school and social life, even if I had to lie about my love for cock :) After I had thoroughly spilled my guts, Laurie decided it was time for her to head to bed.
"It was so nice seeing you," she said as she hugged me again. "Next time, don't wait 2 years in between visits."
"I won't," I laughed.
Laurie went to bed, leaving Sarah and I alone... In the same room where our relationship had ended 2 years prior.
"God, she just LOVES you!" Sarah said.
"Like I said before, can you really blame here? I am, after all, me."
"Nice to know you have stayed so humble over the years."
A silence fell over the two of us. I couldn't think of anything to say. I glanced over at Sarah, who was mute as well. She flashed a nervous smile.
"Man, this is awkward, isn't it?" she laughed.
"Slightly."
"Well, I'm gonna power through," she said, as she pulled her legs onto the couch and turned to face me. "There is actually something I wanted to talk to you about. I have been talking with Jason a lot lately. You and I stopped talking but Jason and I have stayed pretty close. We were talking the other day and you came up."
I didn't like where this was going. I started squirming in my seat, unable to get comfortable. Sarah noticed and reached out, gently squeezing my arm.
"Are you ok?" she asked.
I wanted to get up and leave but I couldn't. Unable to speak, I nodded my head. She continued.
"I started asking about you. How you were doing, how school was, if you were seeing anyone. Jason became a little defensive. Told me not try and start things up with you again. He said you were going through some things and couldn't deal with me. I wasn't trying to start things up but he thought I was. Anyways, I asked him what you were going through. He said 'some stuff'. I kept asking for specifics but he wouldn't give me any. Finally, I got pissed and practically yelled at him to tell me."
I became really warm and had to take my coat off. I leaned forward and took a huge breath.
"He told you..."
Sarah slid over and wrapped her arms around me.
"Yeah, he did... Please don't be mad at him. I had to practically beat it out of him. It wasn't his fault."
Sarah pulled me into a hug.
"I love you so much. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help." she said, starting to cry.
I gave in and turned so I could hug her. The emotions I was feeling were vast. Pain, happiness, relief, angry, sorrow, regret. I suddenly hated myself for shutting Sarah out of my life. I hated that I hadn't seen her in 2 years. I hated that she had to find out about me through someone else.
Sarah and I embraced on the couch for what seemed like an eternity. Neither of us said anything.
The silence and moment was broken by a text to me from none other than Jason. After responding to it, I looked up at Sarah.
"I'm so sorry for the last 2 years. I'm sorr-"
"No, don't be," Sarah interrupted. "You had every right. I fucked up."
"I know but I should have gotten over it quicker. You mean too much to me to have shut you out for so long."
"Thank you." Sarah leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "I'm hungry and we need to talk. Let's go grab some food." She leaped up and walked towards the front door, grabbing her coat.
God I missed her...
they should really create a 'like' button here as in facebook !
ReplyDelete... stars... stardust and wonderment dance around my head. This was... just magical. At a loss for words. Sarah is a gem. Together, you're for a lifetime. Soooo sweet. Soo empowering.
ReplyDeleteGreat series of posts. I too have a Sarah (literally, her name is Sarah) and you have managed to bring back some great memories. :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you two manage to remain close.