Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My Straight Past, Pt. 3 (Non-sex)

September 2008 -

"I don't want to hear it! How can you do this to me? I fucking LOVE you!"

"I love you too. But we are going to different schools, in different states. You didn't expect this to last, did you?"

"You have NO faith in me and you never have!"

"I do, I do. I just don't think long distance works."

"How do you know? You've never tried."

"It never works for anybody. You know that."

"Life isn't some fairytale where everything magically happens. You have to work at relationships. Calling it quits without even trying is a dick move."

"Don't be like this, babe. We still have time. We leave in two weeks. Let's make the most of it."

"No... If you are going to end it, you end it now. Not in two weeks, or two days, or two hours... Now."

"... Ok... Now..."

------------------------------------------

"Would you like to come in?" Sarah asked.

"Uhhh. Ummm, I don't think so. It's kinda late."

"Oh, come on. It's 12:30."

"I have an early day tomorrow."

Sarah began laughing. "You NEVER wake up before 10, especially on the weekend! Don't pull that bullshit with me! I know you too well!"

I was caught and started to laugh.

"Come on. My parents would love to see you."

Sarah looked at me and smiled. I couldn't resist that smile.

"Alright."

I turned the car off and took my seatbelt off. As I reached for the door handle I hesitated. I hadn't been inside Sarah's house sine we broke up. And I hadn't see her parents since then, either. I took a deep breath and got out of the car.

I followed Sarah up the pathway to the front door. When we reached it, Sarah glanced at me.

"Are you nervous?" she asked, chuckling.

"Uhhh, kinda! I haven't seen your parents in forever!"

"Stop worrying! You know they love you!"

"I know but it's still weird."

"Only if you make it weird!" Sarah said as she opened the door.

My heart began to race as soon as the door opened. Sarah led the way as we walked down the entry into the living room. We heard noise from the family room.

"Mom!" Sarah called out.

"In here." The voice came from the family room.

We made our way down a short hall to the family room entrance. Before getting there, Sarah stopped and whispered in my ear.

"Wait here. I want to surprise them."

"Really?!" I whispered back.

"Just do it!" she replied, shooting me daggers. If I learned ONE thing while dating Sarah, it was not to mess with her when she gave that look! I waited just outside the family room as Sarah entered.

"How was the party?" Sarah's mom asked.

"Great. It was nice seeing everyone again. Where's dad?"

"In bed. Who all was there?"

"The usuals plus about 30 people. I brought you a present."

"Oh?"

"Yup. C.C., come here."

I turned the corner, as ordered. The look on Sarah's mom's face was priceless!

"Oh my God! C.C.! How are you?" she said, as she jumped up and went in for a hug.

"I'm great! It's nice to see you, Mrs. James," I said as we hugged.

"Knock that Mrs. James crap off, you know to call me Laurie!"

Our hug ended and we found our seats. Laurie had a huge smile on her face. I sat next to Sarah on the couch, her mother was in a recliner a few feet away.

"It is so nice to see you! We've missed you around here," Laurie said.

"Yeah, I've missed you guys as well."

"So, I take it you met up with Sarah at the party?"

"Yeah," Sarah jumped in, "he volunteered to give me a ride home after Chelsea bailed."

"Of course he did. He was always a gentlemen," Laurie said to Sarah.

"Oh God, here we go," Sarah said, falling back into the couch. "I don't know why you were nervous. She likes you more than she likes me!"

"You can't really blame her, can you?!?" I said smiling. Laurie burst into laughter as Sarah punched me in the arm.

We continued talking with Laurie for about 30 minutes. She interrogated me like mothers do. I filled her in on school and social life, even if I had to lie about my love for cock :) After I had thoroughly spilled my guts, Laurie decided it was time for her to head to bed.

"It was so nice seeing you," she said as she hugged me again. "Next time, don't wait 2 years in between visits."

"I won't," I laughed.

Laurie went to bed, leaving Sarah and I alone... In the same room where our relationship had ended 2 years prior.

"God, she just LOVES you!" Sarah said.

"Like I said before, can you really blame here? I am, after all, me."

"Nice to know you have stayed so humble over the years."

A silence fell over the two of us. I couldn't think of anything to say. I glanced over at Sarah, who was mute as well. She flashed a nervous smile.

"Man, this is awkward, isn't it?" she laughed.

"Slightly."

"Well, I'm gonna power through," she said, as she pulled her legs onto the couch and turned to face me. "There is actually something I wanted to talk to you about. I have been talking with Jason a lot lately. You and I stopped talking but Jason and I have stayed pretty close. We were talking the other day and you came up."

I didn't like where this was going. I started squirming in my seat, unable to get comfortable. Sarah noticed and reached out, gently squeezing my arm.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

I wanted to get up and leave but I couldn't. Unable to speak, I nodded my head. She continued.

"I started asking about you. How you were doing, how school was, if you were seeing anyone. Jason became a little defensive. Told me not try and start things up with you again. He said you were going through some things and couldn't deal with me. I wasn't trying to start things up but he thought I was. Anyways, I asked him what you were going through. He said 'some stuff'. I kept asking for specifics but he wouldn't give me any. Finally, I got pissed and practically yelled at him to tell me."

I became really warm and had to take my coat off. I leaned forward and took a huge breath.

"He told you..."

Sarah slid over and wrapped her arms around me.

"Yeah, he did... Please don't be mad at him. I had to practically beat it out of him. It wasn't his fault."

Sarah pulled me into a hug.

"I love you so much. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help." she said, starting to cry.

I gave in and turned so I could hug her. The emotions I was feeling were vast. Pain, happiness, relief, angry, sorrow, regret. I suddenly hated myself for shutting Sarah out of my life. I hated that I hadn't seen her in 2 years. I hated that she had to find out about me through someone else.

Sarah and I embraced on the couch for what seemed like an eternity. Neither of us said anything.

The silence and moment was broken by a text to me from none other than Jason. After responding to it, I looked up at Sarah.

"I'm so sorry for the last 2 years. I'm sorr-"

"No, don't be," Sarah interrupted. "You had every right. I fucked up."

"I know but I should have gotten over it quicker. You mean too much to me to have shut you out for so long."

"Thank you." Sarah leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "I'm hungry and we need to talk. Let's go grab some food." She leaped up and walked towards the front door, grabbing her coat.

God I missed her...

Saturday, January 22, 2011

My Straight Past, Pt. 2 (Non sex)

I met Sarah 5th or 6th grade. She and her family moved to our district from across town. We weren't in the same class but were in band together (yes, I was in band). We were okay friends but nothing special. In middle school, we were on different halls, so we rarely saw each other. Freshmen year of high school we hung out in the same group of friends. There were about 10 of us that always hung out. Sarah began dating my best friend Jason halfway through our sophomore year.

As our sophomore year ended, Sarah and Jason broke up. And as is the case in high school, I swooped in and started dating her. For the most part, the first couple months we went out were pretty tame. Very "high school". I'll admit our "relationship" wasn't too deep. But the summer in between 10th and 11th grade, I lost someone very close to me. Sarah basically lead me through all the pain and heartache. I began to realize that she and I had something special. By the end of our junior year, I was in love. And not high school love. True, honest to God love. (As I write this, I'm still in love with her lol).

All the while, I am having feelings towards guys. Not romantic feelings but physical feelings. I knew I was attracted to guys. But I was so happy with Sarah, I never thought about acting on my desires. I loved her too much to cheat. So I kept my secret hidden.

As high school wound down, Sarah and I both decided on colleges. She got a scholarship to play volleyball at a small Div. 1 school in California. I had chosen the U of O for a couple key reasons. I was disappointed we weren't going to see each other everyday but I was also happy for her. She lives and breathes volleyball.

In our discussions about being apart, we never once talked about breaking up. It wasn't an option. We loved each other. I was convinced we were going to get married.

The summer wound down and we were 2 weeks from leaving. Sarah and I had a low-key date at her house. Her parents were gone for the weekend. We cooked dinner together and watched a movie. When the movie was over, I leaned over and started to kiss her. She pulled away and told me we needed to talk...

----------------------------------------------------------------------


Sarah grabbed her drink off of a bookshelf and made her way towards me. Surprisingly, I started to calm down. I lowered my head and took a deep breath as she approached. Lifting my head, I was face to face with the first of two people I have truly loved.

"Hey. How are you?" Sarah asked with a smile.

"I'm great. How are you?"

"Good, good."

The friends I was talking with sensed the awkwardness and decided it was time to refill their glasses. They left me alone with Sarah.

"How is school?"

"It's pretty good. I had a rough term but survived it." I was nervous and could tell she knew I was.

"You'll be fine. You always knew how survive and get good grades. Remember senior year in Johnson's AP chem class? You were the only one who got higher than a C." Sarah laughed. She reached out and touched my forearm.

"Yeah, I remember. You and Jason were pissed I killed the curve on the tests."

"It wasn't just me and Jason. The whole class wanted to kill you!"

We both laughed. Then an awkward silence fell upon us. Luckily for me, one of Sarah's friends broke. She told Sarah that since the party was dying down, she was going out with a couple of other people to a bar.

"You're my ride though," Sarah said.

"I can you take you home." The words came out before I knew what I was doing.

Sarah looked at me, slightly stunned. "Really?"

"Uhh, sure. It's on my way home."

"Ok, cool. I'm gonna go say goodbye to some people." Sarah ran off in the direction of the kitchen.

I found Jason and asked him if he could take home the 2 guys I brought to the party.

"Umm, yeah, I guess. Why?"

"I'm gonna give Sarah a ride home."

Jason just looked at me. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"So now you are talking and being friendly to her?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, stop with the one word answers, asshole." Jason leaned in and whispered,"I thought you were seeing a guy?"

"I am. Kinda."

"So what are you doing with Sarah?"

"I'm just giving her a ride. I'm not gonna fuck her in my car if that's what you are thinking."

"I wasn't thinking that. I was thinking you were going to give her a strap-on and have her fuck you!"

"If you don't watch it I'll wrestle your ass to the ground and fuck it!"

"Gross!"

Just then, Sarah came up to us.

"I'm ready. Thanks for the party, Jason." Sarah and Jason hugged.

I thanked Jason and Sarah and I made our way to the car. I backed out of the driveway and headed towards Sarah's. The drive was slightly awkward. We made small talk. We talked about classes and majors. 10 minutes later, I pulled into Sarah's driveway.

"Would you like to come in?" Sarah asked.

"Uhhh. Ummm, I don't think so. It's kinda late."

"Oh, come on. It's 12:30."

"I have an early day tomorrow."

Sarah began laughing. "You NEVER wake up before 10, especially on the weekend! Don't pull that bullshit with me! I know you too well!"

I was caught and started to laugh.

"Come on. My parents would love to see you."

Sarah looked at me and smiled. I couldn't resist that smile.

"Alright."

Thursday, January 20, 2011

My Straight Past, Pt. 1 (Non sex)

This post doesn't involve any of my usual hijinks. In fact, there is no sex at all. This is more of a glimpse into my non-sexual side.

My Straight Past, Pt. 1

The best thing about winter break for me is getting together with friends from high school. It's really the only time all my old friends are in town at the same time. The weekend before Christmas, we decided to get together at a friends house. He invited a bunch of people from our class, so it was going to be a huge party. That night, I picked a couple friends up and headed out.

When we got to the house, it was packed. We made our rounds. I saw some people I hadn't seen since graduation. After talking with some people, I found the host, Jason, my best friend.

"Hey dude, this party is insane!"

"I know. I wasn't expecting this many people!"

"It's pretty sweet. I haven't seen some of these people forever."

We made our way into the kitchen to grab some drinks. Surprisingly, we were the only people in there. Jason grabbed us each a beer and we started talking. We got caught up on school and social life.

"So, have you come out to anyone else?" Jason asked.

"Nope. Still just my friends at school. And you."

"So, no one else here?"

"Nope. Jeff Simons and Jordan Cobbley might know. We know some of the same people at Oregon."

"I didn't invite them, so they shouldn't be here. Jeff is still a prick!"

"Hahaha, I know. He's always been an asshole. Who else did you invite?"

"Most of them are here, so whoever you saw. A couple people couldn't make it."

Jason looked at me and swallowed hard. "I invited Sarah."

I stood there, staring at him. I took a long drink from my bottle.

"I know things are still weird between you too but I couldn't NOT invite her."

I took another drink and swallowed.

"Yeah, I know," I sighed. "It's ok, you did what you had to do. I'll just try and avoid her. Wouldn't want to cause a scene," I laughed, kind of nervously.

"Have you guys still not talked?"

"Nope."

"Damn... Well, she said she'd be late, so you can have some fun before she gets here."

"Thanks," I replied sarcastically.

Fun is what I had for the next hour or so. After the conversation with Jason in the kitchen, I went into the front room to take my mind off of things. I joined a beerpong game and soon forgot about everything. I was having a blast.

After a couple rounds f beerpong, and many other drinking games, I headed to the family room, where the music and couches/chairs were. The seats were taken but I found a couple friends standing and talking so I joined them.

In the middle of a heated discussion over "Family Guy" vs. "Simpsons" (yes, I am involved in this conversation again lol), I noticed a tall brunette standing with her back to us. I hadn't seen her in 2 years but I knew it was her. My heart began to beat rapidly. I got excited, nervous, and anxious all at the same time. I didn't know what to do. Do I go up and say hi? Do I ignore her? Do I pick a fight?

All the possible scenarios went through my head... except the one that happened. Sarah turned around and made eye contact with me. I froze. She froze. We stared at each other for what seemed like hours. Sarah finally broke the staring as she lifted her hand in a half wave and smiled. That fucking smile! I half-smiled and waved back.

Sarah grabbed her drink off of a bookshelf and made her way towards me. Surprisingly, I started to calm down. I lowered my head and took a deep breath as she approached. Lifting my head, I was face to face with the first of two people I have truly loved. ..

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Happy New Year!

Happy 2011! Hope everyone had a fun and safe NYE.

Since regular resolutions are lame and nobody ever sticks to the, I've decided to make slutty resolutions for the new year! Feel free to suggest any resolutions you think I need to add to the list :)

1. Threesome! I'm dying to have 2 hotties at once!

2. Cum handsfree - I've done this once and it was awesome! I promised myself I would do it again :)

3. Sex in a swimming pool - What could be more fun than that?!?

4. Fuck/get fucked by an athlete from school - Maybe I can help our football team celebrate after the 10th ;)

5. Bag me an older guy - The oldest guy I've been with was 28. I'm not totally into older guys but a lot of my peers are, so why not try it once! Gonna find a hot guy around 40 and see what all the fuss is about ;)

6. Get a little wet - WS kinda looks fun to me. Been thinking about asking Jockguy to unload on my chest while we shower :)

There you have it! My slutty resolutions for 2011! Which one should I make happen first?