I met Sarah 5th or 6th grade. She and her family moved to our district from across town. We weren't in the same class but were in band together (yes, I was in band). We were okay friends but nothing special. In middle school, we were on different halls, so we rarely saw each other. Freshmen year of high school we hung out in the same group of friends. There were about 10 of us that always hung out. Sarah began dating my best friend Jason halfway through our sophomore year.
As our sophomore year ended, Sarah and Jason broke up. And as is the case in high school, I swooped in and started dating her. For the most part, the first couple months we went out were pretty tame. Very "high school". I'll admit our "relationship" wasn't too deep. But the summer in between 10th and 11th grade, I lost someone very close to me. Sarah basically lead me through all the pain and heartache. I began to realize that she and I had something special. By the end of our junior year, I was in love. And not high school love. True, honest to God love. (As I write this, I'm still in love with her lol).
All the while, I am having feelings towards guys. Not romantic feelings but physical feelings. I knew I was attracted to guys. But I was so happy with Sarah, I never thought about acting on my desires. I loved her too much to cheat. So I kept my secret hidden.
As high school wound down, Sarah and I both decided on colleges. She got a scholarship to play volleyball at a small Div. 1 school in California. I had chosen the U of O for a couple key reasons. I was disappointed we weren't going to see each other everyday but I was also happy for her. She lives and breathes volleyball.
In our discussions about being apart, we never once talked about breaking up. It wasn't an option. We loved each other. I was convinced we were going to get married.
The summer wound down and we were 2 weeks from leaving. Sarah and I had a low-key date at her house. Her parents were gone for the weekend. We cooked dinner together and watched a movie. When the movie was over, I leaned over and started to kiss her. She pulled away and told me we needed to talk...
Sarah grabbed her drink off of a bookshelf and made her way towards me. Surprisingly, I started to calm down. I lowered my head and took a deep breath as she approached. Lifting my head, I was face to face with the first of two people I have truly loved.
"Hey. How are you?" Sarah asked with a smile.
"I'm great. How are you?"
The friends I was talking with sensed the awkwardness and decided it was time to refill their glasses. They left me alone with Sarah.
"How is school?"
"It's pretty good. I had a rough term but survived it." I was nervous and could tell she knew I was.
"You'll be fine. You always knew how survive and get good grades. Remember senior year in Johnson's AP chem class? You were the only one who got higher than a C." Sarah laughed. She reached out and touched my forearm.
"Yeah, I remember. You and Jason were pissed I killed the curve on the tests."
"It wasn't just me and Jason. The whole class wanted to kill you!"
We both laughed. Then an awkward silence fell upon us. Luckily for me, one of Sarah's friends broke. She told Sarah that since the party was dying down, she was going out with a couple of other people to a bar.
"You're my ride though," Sarah said.
"I can you take you home." The words came out before I knew what I was doing.
Sarah looked at me, slightly stunned. "Really?"
"Uhh, sure. It's on my way home."
"Ok, cool. I'm gonna go say goodbye to some people." Sarah ran off in the direction of the kitchen.
I found Jason and asked him if he could take home the 2 guys I brought to the party.
"Umm, yeah, I guess. Why?"
"I'm gonna give Sarah a ride home."
Jason just looked at me. "Seriously?"
"So now you are talking and being friendly to her?"
"Ok, stop with the one word answers, asshole." Jason leaned in and whispered,"I thought you were seeing a guy?"
"I am. Kinda."
"So what are you doing with Sarah?"
"I'm just giving her a ride. I'm not gonna fuck her in my car if that's what you are thinking."
"I wasn't thinking that. I was thinking you were going to give her a strap-on and have her fuck you!"
"If you don't watch it I'll wrestle your ass to the ground and fuck it!"
Just then, Sarah came up to us.
"I'm ready. Thanks for the party, Jason." Sarah and Jason hugged.
I thanked Jason and Sarah and I made our way to the car. I backed out of the driveway and headed towards Sarah's. The drive was slightly awkward. We made small talk. We talked about classes and majors. 10 minutes later, I pulled into Sarah's driveway.
"Would you like to come in?" Sarah asked.
"Uhhh. Ummm, I don't think so. It's kinda late."
"Oh, come on. It's 12:30."
"I have an early day tomorrow."
Sarah began laughing. "You NEVER wake up before 10, especially on the weekend! Don't pull that bullshit with me! I know you too well!"
I was caught and started to laugh.
"Come on. My parents would love to see you."
Sarah looked at me and smiled. I couldn't resist that smile.