I've been writing this blog since last July. In that time, I have never told Jockguy about it. And he has never acknowledged that he knows about it. When I first started, I told myself I had to tell him. He's a huge part of my life and it's not fair that he doesn't know I'm writing about him. But every time I decided to tell him, I'd chicken out and decide to wait a little while longer.
Well, last weekend, I decided to nut up and tell him. I waited until after we fucked and were in bed about to sleep.
"I have to tell you something that isn't too serious but still kinda important."
"Uhh, ok. Is everything ok?" Jockguy said, propping himself on an elbow and looking down at me.
"Yeah, everything's fine... Ummm, you know how I like to write, right?"
"Yeah." Jockguy looked puzzled.
"Well, I've been writing a blog..." I hesitated. "... about my sex life."
Jockguy gave me a confused look. I think he was trying to figure out if I was joking or not.
"Seriously?" he asked.
"Yeah." I sat up and put my knees up. I lowered my head, ashamed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."
"Ok... You hide your identity, right? You don't use your real name. Or my name."
"No, not at all. I gave us fake names and don't write about things that will ID us. I'm careful about that. I don't want people to know it's me."
"What's my name?" he asked with a smirk.
"My fake name. You said you gave us fake names. What's mine?"
I went from ashamed to embarrassed.
"Come on, who cares... Are you ok with it?"
"I don't know. Tell me my name first." Jockguy started poking me.
"Come on. Stop! God, you're a child."
"Coming from you, that carries no weight. Tell me!"
"Ok... I call you 'Jockguy'. Happy?"
"'Jockguy'? What the fuck kind of name is 'Jockguy'?"
"I don't know. I just called you that and it stuck. Can we be serious for a second."
"No. What's your 'name'?" Jockguy said, air-quoting "name".
"I'm going to sleep." I laid down, my back to Jockguy and pulled the covers over myself.
"Is it 'Muscleguy'? Or 'Meathead'?" Jockguy asked in a very mocking tone.
"God I hate you. Go to sleep."
"IOr is it like an Indian name? 'Fartsinhissleep'?" Jockguy burst into laughter.
"I fucking hate you right now," I said with an angry laugh. "You ruined the moment. I was trying to tell you something personal and you fucked it up."
Jockguy was unfazed by my mostly fake disappointment.
"I know what it is! Since I'm 'Jockguy' you must be 'Jockgirl'!"
This time I started laughing. I was sooo pissed at him but it was funny. He always makes me laugh, even when I'm pissed. I hate it!
Jockguy got out of bed and grabbed his laptop off his desk. He crawled back in bed and logged on.
"What's it called?" he asked.
"You aren't gonna look at it now are you?"
"I don't want you to read it while I'm here."
"I don't know. It's embarrassing."
"Then why do you write it?"
"No, you reading it is embarrassing."
"Babe, it's fine. I want to read it." Jockguy said with a smile. How can I say no to that smile?!
"And you won't get upset or mad?"
"Why? Did you write something that will make me upset or mad?"
"Well, no but... I don't know. I'm just not sure what your reaction is gonna be."
"You on your period this week?!"
"Fuck you," I laughed, grabbing the laptop. I google-searched the blog and had it opened to my first post in seconds. "Here it is. But be fore you read it, you have to do something for me."
I leaned over and gave Jockguy a deep kiss.
"That," I said pulling away.
Jockguy took the laptop and began reading. Within seconds he began laughing.
"Shut up and read!" I shouted over my shoulder as I laid nervously.
Jockguy began reading. And reading. And reading. At some point I dozed off. I woke up who knows how long later and Jockguy was still reading.
"You still reading?" I asked in a groggy and scratchy voice.
"Just a sec."
I waited for about 5 minutes until Jockguy was done with his current entry. He closed the laptop and set it aside. He crawled under the covers. I laid my head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around me. I waited for him to say something.
"So, what did you think?" I asked, unable to take the silence.
"I like it," he answered, giving me a squeeze with his arm.
"Yeah. It's hot. The stories are hot. Every story was like being back in the moment it actually happened. I think you should change your major to Writing."
"Thanks. That means so much coming from you. I was scared to tell you about it."
"Why? You know you can do no wrong with me."
"Can I get that in writing?"
"I like it but you HAVE to change my name. Give me a real name. And give yourself a real name too."
"I was actually thinking about giving myself one. I hate writing 'C.C.' instead of a real name. I think it sounds dumb. But I like 'Jockguy'."
"I could be 'Bernard' and you could be 'Willard'," Jockguy deadpanned.
"Oh God. 'Bernard pounded my ass and said "Take it Willard!"'. That's not going to give anyone a boner!"
Jockguy and I continued talking about names for about 15 min. Some were serious but most were dumb. At one point, I suggested "Holden McGroin" for him.
When we had exhausted our brains of funny names, we cuddled up and went to sleep. The next day, Jockguy finished all the posts. He reiterated how much he liked them by giving me a HARD pounding that night.
After he came, he looked at me and said, "That was definitely blog-worthy." :)