My Straight Past, Pt. 4..... with sex... ;-)

"I'm so sorry for the last 2 years. I'm sorr-"

"No, don't be," Sarah interrupted. "You had every right. I fucked up."

"I know but I should have gotten over it quicker. You mean too much to me to have shut you out for so long."

"Thank you." Sarah leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "I'm hungry and we need to talk. Let's go grab some food." She leaped up and walked towards the front door, grabbing her coat.

God I missed her.

I quickly got up, threw my coat on, and followed her to my car.

"Where to?" I asked, pulling out of the driveway.

"I don't know. Nothing is going to be open."

"Let's grab something and bring it back here."

Sarah ok'd my plan and we were off. After arguing about where to go, Sarah won out and we went to Subway (I was hoping for Taco Bell. After the recent news about them, I'm glad Sarah convinced me otherwise lol).

While in line watching our sandwiches get made, Sarah nonchalantly wrapped her arm around my waist. In fact, I don't think she realized she was doing because at the time she telling our sandwich maker she wanted extra tomatoes. I didn't really know what to do. Was she just being friendly? Was she hitting on me? I kind of put my arm around her shoulders. She didn't seem to notice.

When it was time to pay, Sarah pushed my hand aside and paid.

"You didn't have to do that," I said, getting in the car.

"Yeah I did. I owe you."

"You think THIS," I said, holding up my sub, "is going to make up for you breaking my heart?"

"We could head downtown and I could buy you another type of footlong, if ya know what I mean."

"Oh God. I get to hear you make "C.C. likes penis" jokes now?"

Sarah started laughing.

"Just drive. We have plenty of time to talk about you liking guys."

When we got back to Sarah's house, we grabbed some drinks and headed up to her room and ate our food.

"Your parents won't mind if I'm up here?"

"They never really cared before. They trust me, you know that."

"They shouldn't. You and I used to get very, very naked in here!"

"Yes, yes we did. And we used to get very naked in the bathroom. And the kitchen. And the family room. And the garden shed that one time."

"Oh my God! I totally forgot about that! That was... That was A LOT of fun." I said, as I started to blush.

Sarah grabbed her drink and laid on her bed.

"That's one of the reasons I was so surprised when Jason told me you were gay."

I got up from the desk chair I was in and joined Sarah on the bed. I grabbed some pillows and propped myself up against the headboard, knowing this conversation would last a while.

"So, you didn't know I was before?"

"Not really. After Jason told me, a couple things started making more sense. But I didn't know."

"How'd you take it?" I asked, curious about her feelings.

"It was... I... It felt weird. On some level it fit and something clicked and I thought "That makes sense." But another part of me was seriously surprised. Like shocked. I didn't believe Jason at first. I thought he was being an idiot, trying to make me stop badgering him. But he told me in a serious tone that he wasn't joking. I was shocked."

"That's funny because Jason wasn't really shocked. He said he had suspected something was up for a while."

"He said you haven't told your family yet?"

"Nope. Haven't told any of them."

"Not even your brothers or cousins?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I just can't get myself to."

Sarah grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers.

"I'd think they'd be the first you tell."

"I know. I think about it every day but... I just can't can't do it." At this point, I got a little choked up. And I am not one to cry. At all. I like to keep those emotions buried deep down lol.

Sarah reached up and wiped a tear from my eye. It was only the second time I had ever cried in front of her.

"Hey. It's ok. You'll do it when it's right. And I know how much your family loves you. It will be ok." She leaned in and hugged me.

"Thanks." I said, hugging her tightly.

"You mind if I ask some questions?" Sarah asked, pulling out of the hug.

"Yes, I like getting fucked and yes, I can give head better than you."

"C.C.!" Sarah shrieked. "Oh my God, you are sick!" She punched me in the stomach. I rolled over laughing.

"That is NOT what I wanted to know. And nobody gives head as well as I do!"

She was kind of right. She gave REALLY good head. But I didn't have the heart, or the courage, to tell her I knew at least 4 guys who do it better.

"Ok, ask away."

"When did you know?"

"I kinda always knew."

"Even when we were together?"

"Before then. I knew something was different when I in first and second grade. I can't explain it, I just knew I was different. I didn't realize until about 5th or 6th grade that the difference was that I liked boys."

Sarah dropped her head and softly asked her next question. "So, was everything between us fake then?"

"What? Of course not! How could you ask that?"

"I can ask that because you're gay!" Sarah said in a very serious tone.

"Babe, I loved you with all my heart. I wanted to MARRY you. I put aside my attraction towards guys because I loved you so much. In fact, if you hadn't broke up with me I would have never tried being with a guy. I was all yours."

"That doesn't sound like you're gay to me."

"Fuck the labels. In my life I have loved two people. You and the guy I'm seeing now. A guy and a girl. I don't care what you call it."

"I just... After I found out, part of me was pissed at you. I was mad because YOU didn't tell me. And I was mad because I thought it meant our relationship was a lie."

"It wasn't a lie. Everything I said and felt was the honest-to-God truth. And I didn't tell you because I didn't want to fuck things up."

"I wouldn't have cared. You know that. I love and loved everything about you. I worshiped you," Sarah said, shedding a tear.

"I was sooo young. I hadn't even BEEN with a guy yet. And I thought there was no sense in telling you because we were going to be together forever and I wouldn't ever have to worry about guys. You were all I needed." I reached out and pulled Sarah into me. I wrapped my arm around her and she rest her head on my chest. "I was SO mad at you when you broke up with me. I was SO mad. You led me along all summer. You had plenty of time to call it off but you waited and waited. But part of me was angry at you because I knew I had to confront my own problems. I knew I had to confront liking guys. Part of the reason I was so pissed at you is because I blamed you for it. I blamed you for pushing me in that direction. Looking back though, I have to thank you. You made it ok for me to explore. You breaking my heart ended up doing me good in the long-run."

Sarah squeezed me tightly and began to cry. I held her, tears rolling down my cheek.

For the next hour, Sarah and I laid on her bed, embracing, not saying a word. I didn't want to talk about "us" anymore. I had finally gotten things out in the open and off my chest. I felt relieved.

At some point, I drifted to sleep. I came to when I heard Sarah open her closet door. I glanced over and saw that she had changed into her "pajamas" - a dark blue wife-beater and panties. I watched her as she moved and straightened things up in her closet. She still had the hottest ass and legs I've ever seen. For a girl, of course ;)

"Stop looking at my ass," Sarah said, startling me. She had always had an uncanny ability to catch me looking at her, even when her back was to me.

"How the fuck do you do that?" I asked, laughing.

"I know you too well. You were always an ass guy. That should have been my first clue." Sarah closed the closet door and got on the bed next to me. I was still half laying down and she was to my right, sitting on the bed.

"So," she said, grabbing a crap load of pillows," tell me about the guy." She used the pillows to prop herself up. She leaned back and sprawled her legs across my lap. "You might as well give me a foot and leg rub while you're at it," she added, smiling.

I grabbed her right foot and started talking.

"Well, what would you like to know?"

"Everything."

"You have a starting point I should begin at?"

"Umm, how about a name and how you met, Genius." I grabbed Sarah's inner thigh and began to squeeze. She started squealing and laughing. She flailed her legs and finally broke from my ticklish grip.

"Asshole!" she said, throwing a pillow at me.

"I missed doing that," I smiled.

"Ok, back to business." Sarah got seated and promptly thrust her feet in my lap.

"His name is Jockguy," I said, rubbing her feet. "He goes to UO."

"How'd you meet?"

"Ummm... Well... It's kind of embarassing."

"This from the guy who told his ex girlfriend he gives better blowjobs than she does!"

"Fair point. We met online."

"That's not embarrassing. A lot of my friends do online dating."

I went to tell her that Craigslist isn't exactly online dating but decided not too.

"Ok, good. Well, yeah. We met online. We talked for a month or so before meeting. Neither of us was out. We ended up meeting for the first time at the Civil War last year."

"Oh my God, your first date was a football game?! He's just like you, isn't he?"

"What is THAT supposed to mean?"

"He's a sports-crazy, testosterone filled jock."

"Oh. Well, then yes, he is like me."

"Dear Lord. There are two of you?!?"

I reached for her thigh but she slapped my hand away.

"I'm sorry! Continue!"

"That's what I thought! Anyways... So yeah, the Civil War was our first date."

"So, you've been together a year?" Sarah asked in a surprised voice.

"Uhhh, kinda."

"What does kinda mean?"

"It's complicated. We are basically a couple but we've never talked about it. We've never talked about being exclusive or anything."

"But are you exclusive?"

"Ummm, not really," I replied with nervous laughter.

"Oh my God, you little slut!" Sarah laughed.

All I could do was laugh.

"You have a picture of him?" she asked.

I grabbed my phone, found a picture of Jockguy, and handed it to her. She studied it for a while without saying anything. Finally, she looked up.

"I hate you."

"What? Why?" I laughed.

"He is hotter than any guy I've hooked up with at school!"

"Well, duh. Grade A bait like this catches only the best," I said, running my hand up and down in front of myself.

Sarah gave me a dirty look and rolled her eyes.

"I'm seriously jealous," she said, looking back at Jockguy's pic.

"Yeah, you should be. He's pretty awesome."

"So, what's he like?" she asked, handing me back the phone.

"Funny, smart, charismatic, sarcastic, sweet, real." I could feel myself smiling like an idiot. But I couldn't help it. Jockguy makes me like that.

"You really like him, don't you?"

I nodded my head. "I really, really do. I love him."

Sarah swung her legs around and crawled over to me, giving me hug.

"I am SO happy for you." She kissed me on the cheek. She cuddled up to me and laid her head on my chest.

"So, why aren't you guys exclusive?"

"Well, I guess you could say I'm making up for lost time." I said with a laugh.

"Just you?"

"No. He's as new to guys as I am. We both have our fun on the side. It's kind of an unspoken agreement."

"I see."

A pause and silence fell over the room. I began to rub Sarah's shoulder. She began tracing her finger up and down my abs. She turned her head and looked me in the eyes.

"What are you thinking?"

"How we never properly had break-up sex." I said with a huge grin.

"Me too."

I moved my hand from her shoulder to her ass and gave it a squeeze. With that, Sarah crawled on top of me and we began kissing. I kicked off my shoes and Sarah pulled off her tanktop. I grabbed her and pulled her into me.

Within seconds we were both naked. And I was transported back in time to this room, this feeling, this girl.

Everything was familiar yet new. Her skin was soft. Hair smelled the same. Her touch was the same. She tasted the same. Yet every sensation and feeling seemed new. I hadn't experienced a woman in such a long time. There body, smell, skin, and touch are so different than a guy's.

And I was different. I took control. I picked her up and moved her. I flipped her over on her back and minutes later, flipped her back on top of me.

It was such a change from sex with guys. And not a bad one.

When we were finished, Sarah's naked body clung to mine like a blanket. I was physically and emotionally drained. I was exhausted and in a sex haze. Before I knew it, I had drifted to sleep.

I awoke about an hour later. Sarah was cuddled up to me, asleep, head on my chest. She was topless but had put on her panties. I gently shook her awake.

"Sarah. Babe." She opened her eyes. "I should probably go before your parents get up."

"No," she said, pulling me back into bed. "They'll be fine. I want you to stay."

Sarah pushed me onto my back and rolled on top of me. Her bare chest was against mine.

"I can't really say no to that!" I leaned forward and met my lips to Sarah's. We enjoyed another round before falling asleep again.

Around 11 the next morning, I woke up. Sarah was at her computer, still in just panties.

"Wow," she said looking at the clock. "Awake before 11. You really HAVE changed!"

"Shut it! You know I have a no talking rule when I wake up." I grabbed one of my pillows and threw it at her. "Besides, I need to sneak out of here before your parents find out."

"God! Would you relax. We aren't in high school anymore." Sarah grabbed the pillow and walked over to the bed. She sat on the edge and looked at me. "Last night was... Well, it was fun. And not just the sex. Everything. I really missed you."

"I missed you too. And, yes, last night was fun. Except for the sex. I finally know what turned me onto guys..."

"God, you really haven't changed. Still the same smart-ass you always were."

I smiled and looked away and out the window. I thought of Jockguy.

"What's wrong?"

"Uhh, nothing. I was just thinking about Jockguy. He calls me a smart-ass all the time. His way of saying 'I love you'."

"Oh." Sarah got up and covered her chest with the pillow. "Should we have done this?"

I got out of bed and walked over to her. I pulled her into me and hugged her tightly.

"It's ok. I wanted this just as much as you, if not more. It's ok."

"I just don't want to mess things up for you."

"You won't. I promise."

I held Sarah in my arms. My feelings for her will never change. I love her and always will.

Eventually, Sarah and I both got dressed and ventured downstairs. Luckily, her parents had left. I made Sarah breakfast. We ate and talked about old and new times. I got completely caught up on her life.

As I got ready to leave, a content feeling fell over me. A huge part of my life was back and a hugely painful period in my life was over. As Sarah walked me to the car, seemingly everything in my life was in, or heading in, a positive direction.

"Thanks again for everything," I said as I opened my car door.

"You too. Seeing you has been... amazing. I love you."

I hugged Sarah tightly.

"I love you too. You are the coolest person I know."

We let go and I got in the car.

"Expect to see a lot of me this break," Sarah said.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

I closed my door and watched Sarah walk up her driveway and into her house. I sat in my car and reflected on the last 24 hours. My life had changed so drastically, in such a positive way, that I was giddy.

I pulled out of the driveway and tried to focus on the drive home. But I couldn't. I HAD to call. I reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone. At a red light, I found the number I needed. Breaking Oregon driving laws, I dialed the number as I started to drive.

"Hello?" Jockguy answered.

"Hey, it's me. You won't believe who I ran into last night..."


~~~The End ~~~

My Straight Past, Pt. 3 (Non-sex)

September 2008 -

"I don't want to hear it! How can you do this to me? I fucking LOVE you!"

"I love you too. But we are going to different schools, in different states. You didn't expect this to last, did you?"

"You have NO faith in me and you never have!"

"I do, I do. I just don't think long distance works."

"How do you know? You've never tried."

"It never works for anybody. You know that."

"Life isn't some fairytale where everything magically happens. You have to work at relationships. Calling it quits without even trying is a dick move."

"Don't be like this, babe. We still have time. We leave in two weeks. Let's make the most of it."

"No... If you are going to end it, you end it now. Not in two weeks, or two days, or two hours... Now."

"... Ok... Now..."

------------------------------------------

"Would you like to come in?" Sarah asked.

"Uhhh. Ummm, I don't think so. It's kinda late."

"Oh, come on. It's 12:30."

"I have an early day tomorrow."

Sarah began laughing. "You NEVER wake up before 10, especially on the weekend! Don't pull that bullshit with me! I know you too well!"

I was caught and started to laugh.

"Come on. My parents would love to see you."

Sarah looked at me and smiled. I couldn't resist that smile.

"Alright."

I turned the car off and took my seatbelt off. As I reached for the door handle I hesitated. I hadn't been inside Sarah's house sine we broke up. And I hadn't see her parents since then, either. I took a deep breath and got out of the car.

I followed Sarah up the pathway to the front door. When we reached it, Sarah glanced at me.

"Are you nervous?" she asked, chuckling.

"Uhhh, kinda! I haven't seen your parents in forever!"

"Stop worrying! You know they love you!"

"I know but it's still weird."

"Only if you make it weird!" Sarah said as she opened the door.

My heart began to race as soon as the door opened. Sarah led the way as we walked down the entry into the living room. We heard noise from the family room.

"Mom!" Sarah called out.

"In here." The voice came from the family room.

We made our way down a short hall to the family room entrance. Before getting there, Sarah stopped and whispered in my ear.

"Wait here. I want to surprise them."

"Really?!" I whispered back.

"Just do it!" she replied, shooting me daggers. If I learned ONE thing while dating Sarah, it was not to mess with her when she gave that look! I waited just outside the family room as Sarah entered.

"How was the party?" Sarah's mom asked.

"Great. It was nice seeing everyone again. Where's dad?"

"In bed. Who all was there?"

"The usuals plus about 30 people. I brought you a present."

"Oh?"

"Yup. C.C., come here."

I turned the corner, as ordered. The look on Sarah's mom's face was priceless!

"Oh my God! C.C.! How are you?" she said, as she jumped up and went in for a hug.

"I'm great! It's nice to see you, Mrs. James," I said as we hugged.

"Knock that Mrs. James crap off, you know to call me Laurie!"

Our hug ended and we found our seats. Laurie had a huge smile on her face. I sat next to Sarah on the couch, her mother was in a recliner a few feet away.

"It is so nice to see you! We've missed you around here," Laurie said.

"Yeah, I've missed you guys as well."

"So, I take it you met up with Sarah at the party?"

"Yeah," Sarah jumped in, "he volunteered to give me a ride home after Chelsea bailed."

"Of course he did. He was always a gentlemen," Laurie said to Sarah.

"Oh God, here we go," Sarah said, falling back into the couch. "I don't know why you were nervous. She likes you more than she likes me!"

"You can't really blame her, can you?!?" I said smiling. Laurie burst into laughter as Sarah punched me in the arm.

We continued talking with Laurie for about 30 minutes. She interrogated me like mothers do. I filled her in on school and social life, even if I had to lie about my love for cock :) After I had thoroughly spilled my guts, Laurie decided it was time for her to head to bed.

"It was so nice seeing you," she said as she hugged me again. "Next time, don't wait 2 years in between visits."

"I won't," I laughed.

Laurie went to bed, leaving Sarah and I alone... In the same room where our relationship had ended 2 years prior.

"God, she just LOVES you!" Sarah said.

"Like I said before, can you really blame here? I am, after all, me."

"Nice to know you have stayed so humble over the years."

A silence fell over the two of us. I couldn't think of anything to say. I glanced over at Sarah, who was mute as well. She flashed a nervous smile.

"Man, this is awkward, isn't it?" she laughed.

"Slightly."

"Well, I'm gonna power through," she said, as she pulled her legs onto the couch and turned to face me. "There is actually something I wanted to talk to you about. I have been talking with Jason a lot lately. You and I stopped talking but Jason and I have stayed pretty close. We were talking the other day and you came up."

I didn't like where this was going. I started squirming in my seat, unable to get comfortable. Sarah noticed and reached out, gently squeezing my arm.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

I wanted to get up and leave but I couldn't. Unable to speak, I nodded my head. She continued.

"I started asking about you. How you were doing, how school was, if you were seeing anyone. Jason became a little defensive. Told me not try and start things up with you again. He said you were going through some things and couldn't deal with me. I wasn't trying to start things up but he thought I was. Anyways, I asked him what you were going through. He said 'some stuff'. I kept asking for specifics but he wouldn't give me any. Finally, I got pissed and practically yelled at him to tell me."

I became really warm and had to take my coat off. I leaned forward and took a huge breath.

"He told you..."

Sarah slid over and wrapped her arms around me.

"Yeah, he did... Please don't be mad at him. I had to practically beat it out of him. It wasn't his fault."

Sarah pulled me into a hug.

"I love you so much. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help." she said, starting to cry.

I gave in and turned so I could hug her. The emotions I was feeling were vast. Pain, happiness, relief, angry, sorrow, regret. I suddenly hated myself for shutting Sarah out of my life. I hated that I hadn't seen her in 2 years. I hated that she had to find out about me through someone else.

Sarah and I embraced on the couch for what seemed like an eternity. Neither of us said anything.

The silence and moment was broken by a text to me from none other than Jason. After responding to it, I looked up at Sarah.

"I'm so sorry for the last 2 years. I'm sorr-"

"No, don't be," Sarah interrupted. "You had every right. I fucked up."

"I know but I should have gotten over it quicker. You mean too much to me to have shut you out for so long."

"Thank you." Sarah leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "I'm hungry and we need to talk. Let's go grab some food." She leaped up and walked towards the front door, grabbing her coat.

God I missed her...

My Straight Past, Pt. 2 (Non sex)

I met Sarah 5th or 6th grade. She and her family moved to our district from across town. We weren't in the same class but were in band together (yes, I was in band). We were okay friends but nothing special. In middle school, we were on different halls, so we rarely saw each other. Freshmen year of high school we hung out in the same group of friends. There were about 10 of us that always hung out. Sarah began dating my best friend Jason halfway through our sophomore year.

As our sophomore year ended, Sarah and Jason broke up. And as is the case in high school, I swooped in and started dating her. For the most part, the first couple months we went out were pretty tame. Very "high school". I'll admit our "relationship" wasn't too deep. But the summer in between 10th and 11th grade, I lost someone very close to me. Sarah basically lead me through all the pain and heartache. I began to realize that she and I had something special. By the end of our junior year, I was in love. And not high school love. True, honest to God love. (As I write this, I'm still in love with her lol).

All the while, I am having feelings towards guys. Not romantic feelings but physical feelings. I knew I was attracted to guys. But I was so happy with Sarah, I never thought about acting on my desires. I loved her too much to cheat. So I kept my secret hidden.

As high school wound down, Sarah and I both decided on colleges. She got a scholarship to play volleyball at a small Div. 1 school in California. I had chosen the U of O for a couple key reasons. I was disappointed we weren't going to see each other everyday but I was also happy for her. She lives and breathes volleyball.

In our discussions about being apart, we never once talked about breaking up. It wasn't an option. We loved each other. I was convinced we were going to get married.

The summer wound down and we were 2 weeks from leaving. Sarah and I had a low-key date at her house. Her parents were gone for the weekend. We cooked dinner together and watched a movie. When the movie was over, I leaned over and started to kiss her. She pulled away and told me we needed to talk...

----------------------------------------------------------------------


Sarah grabbed her drink off of a bookshelf and made her way towards me. Surprisingly, I started to calm down. I lowered my head and took a deep breath as she approached. Lifting my head, I was face to face with the first of two people I have truly loved.

"Hey. How are you?" Sarah asked with a smile.

"I'm great. How are you?"

"Good, good."

The friends I was talking with sensed the awkwardness and decided it was time to refill their glasses. They left me alone with Sarah.

"How is school?"

"It's pretty good. I had a rough term but survived it." I was nervous and could tell she knew I was.

"You'll be fine. You always knew how survive and get good grades. Remember senior year in Johnson's AP chem class? You were the only one who got higher than a C." Sarah laughed. She reached out and touched my forearm.

"Yeah, I remember. You and Jason were pissed I killed the curve on the tests."

"It wasn't just me and Jason. The whole class wanted to kill you!"

We both laughed. Then an awkward silence fell upon us. Luckily for me, one of Sarah's friends broke. She told Sarah that since the party was dying down, she was going out with a couple of other people to a bar.

"You're my ride though," Sarah said.

"I can you take you home." The words came out before I knew what I was doing.

Sarah looked at me, slightly stunned. "Really?"

"Uhh, sure. It's on my way home."

"Ok, cool. I'm gonna go say goodbye to some people." Sarah ran off in the direction of the kitchen.

I found Jason and asked him if he could take home the 2 guys I brought to the party.

"Umm, yeah, I guess. Why?"

"I'm gonna give Sarah a ride home."

Jason just looked at me. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"So now you are talking and being friendly to her?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, stop with the one word answers, asshole." Jason leaned in and whispered,"I thought you were seeing a guy?"

"I am. Kinda."

"So what are you doing with Sarah?"

"I'm just giving her a ride. I'm not gonna fuck her in my car if that's what you are thinking."

"I wasn't thinking that. I was thinking you were going to give her a strap-on and have her fuck you!"

"If you don't watch it I'll wrestle your ass to the ground and fuck it!"

"Gross!"

Just then, Sarah came up to us.

"I'm ready. Thanks for the party, Jason." Sarah and Jason hugged.

I thanked Jason and Sarah and I made our way to the car. I backed out of the driveway and headed towards Sarah's. The drive was slightly awkward. We made small talk. We talked about classes and majors. 10 minutes later, I pulled into Sarah's driveway.

"Would you like to come in?" Sarah asked.

"Uhhh. Ummm, I don't think so. It's kinda late."

"Oh, come on. It's 12:30."

"I have an early day tomorrow."

Sarah began laughing. "You NEVER wake up before 10, especially on the weekend! Don't pull that bullshit with me! I know you too well!"

I was caught and started to laugh.

"Come on. My parents would love to see you."

Sarah looked at me and smiled. I couldn't resist that smile.

"Alright."

My Straight Past, Pt. 1 (Non sex)

This post doesn't involve any of my usual hijinks. In fact, there is no sex at all. This is more of a glimpse into my non-sexual side.

My Straight Past, Pt. 1

The best thing about winter break for me is getting together with friends from high school. It's really the only time all my old friends are in town at the same time. The weekend before Christmas, we decided to get together at a friends house. He invited a bunch of people from our class, so it was going to be a huge party. That night, I picked a couple friends up and headed out.

When we got to the house, it was packed. We made our rounds. I saw some people I hadn't seen since graduation. After talking with some people, I found the host, Jason, my best friend.

"Hey dude, this party is insane!"

"I know. I wasn't expecting this many people!"

"It's pretty sweet. I haven't seen some of these people forever."

We made our way into the kitchen to grab some drinks. Surprisingly, we were the only people in there. Jason grabbed us each a beer and we started talking. We got caught up on school and social life.

"So, have you come out to anyone else?" Jason asked.

"Nope. Still just my friends at school. And you."

"So, no one else here?"

"Nope. Jeff Simons and Jordan Cobbley might know. We know some of the same people at Oregon."

"I didn't invite them, so they shouldn't be here. Jeff is still a prick!"

"Hahaha, I know. He's always been an asshole. Who else did you invite?"

"Most of them are here, so whoever you saw. A couple people couldn't make it."

Jason looked at me and swallowed hard. "I invited Sarah."

I stood there, staring at him. I took a long drink from my bottle.

"I know things are still weird between you too but I couldn't NOT invite her."

I took another drink and swallowed.

"Yeah, I know," I sighed. "It's ok, you did what you had to do. I'll just try and avoid her. Wouldn't want to cause a scene," I laughed, kind of nervously.

"Have you guys still not talked?"

"Nope."

"Damn... Well, she said she'd be late, so you can have some fun before she gets here."

"Thanks," I replied sarcastically.

Fun is what I had for the next hour or so. After the conversation with Jason in the kitchen, I went into the front room to take my mind off of things. I joined a beerpong game and soon forgot about everything. I was having a blast.

After a couple rounds f beerpong, and many other drinking games, I headed to the family room, where the music and couches/chairs were. The seats were taken but I found a couple friends standing and talking so I joined them.

In the middle of a heated discussion over "Family Guy" vs. "Simpsons" (yes, I am involved in this conversation again lol), I noticed a tall brunette standing with her back to us. I hadn't seen her in 2 years but I knew it was her. My heart began to beat rapidly. I got excited, nervous, and anxious all at the same time. I didn't know what to do. Do I go up and say hi? Do I ignore her? Do I pick a fight?

All the possible scenarios went through my head... except the one that happened. Sarah turned around and made eye contact with me. I froze. She froze. We stared at each other for what seemed like hours. Sarah finally broke the staring as she lifted her hand in a half wave and smiled. That fucking smile! I half-smiled and waved back.

Sarah grabbed her drink off of a bookshelf and made her way towards me. Surprisingly, I started to calm down. I lowered my head and took a deep breath as she approached. Lifting my head, I was face to face with the first of two people I have truly loved. ..